There are two creatures, one called “Boy”, the other, “Girl”.
They are of the same species, yet are distinctively different.
One day, they meet and decide to spend their lives together.
Girl allows Boy to get her “pregnant”, which means that her body will swell up over a nine month period with a growing human being inside of her.
This will change her body permanently in many ways and it can also put her own health at risk.
At the end of nine months, a Baby Human will be born from Girl.
Now Girl is a Mother, and this changes her emotionally and biologically forever.
Boy, however, hasn’t changed in any particular way biologically.
Sometimes, though, Boy will change emotionally, but sometimes not.
When he does not, he becomes problematic to Girl and to the Baby Human.
This is because he still thinks things are the same as they were before.
He still wants to have sex all the time and he still wants to be number one on Girl’s priority list.
When Girl cannot do these things, because she has now changed, Boy can become angry, aggressive, disrespectful, and, in some cases, even violent.
He can also sometimes find another Girl.
Girl, on the other hand, does not understand what has happened to Boy.
She grows confused and resentful, and certainly does not desire him sexually.
She gave him her heart and her body, and now he seems to not want to be with her anymore.
On the other hand, sometimes Boy does change emotionally.
Then, he ceases to seek out Girl mainly for his own pleasure and affirmation, and, instead, grows into a wonderful, wise, and loving mate.
He realizes that when Girl is happy and at peace, so is the Baby Human, and he wants this.
He finds pleasure in doing the right thing by Girl and by the Baby Human.
He works hard, yet does not complain about it and comes home cheerful and thankful.
He does not push himself on Girl sexually, nor does he become angry or resentful or disrespectful or unkind towards her.
Boy learns about sacrifice, just as Girl learned about it when she became pregnant, when she changed forever both biologically and emotionally.
Now that he understands what he must do and how he must change, Boy and Girl can continue to be happy together.
Boy and Girl cannot be happy together if this change does not occur in Boy.
But if it does, Baby Human will grow up strong and happy with Boy and Girl, and will learn from them how to live a happy, fulfilling life as well.
Anthony Ferraioli, M.D.
Author, Don’t Get Married! (Unless You Understand a Few Things First)